I hope "y'all", or according to Rebecca, "all y'all" had a "swell" time yesterday. Because the party's over for you uppity colonials. Thanks to Drunken Blogger for this little snippet:

In an astonishing statement broadcast live on BBC News 24 today, Her Divine Majestiness Queen Liz II, announced to a stunned world that she had dissolved the British parliament, sacked Tony Bliar, exiled Charles and Camilla to the Falkland Islands and revoked US independence.

"My Sovereign Royalness will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Ohio, which I'm told is full of the most awful, revolting oiks.) I will shortly be appointing Sir Greebling Beauchamp-Featherstonehaugh as Governor of America without the need for any further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

You should look up 'revocation' in the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary my soldiers will be handing out to you. Then look up 'aluminium.' Please pay careful attention to the pronunciation guide. You will be astonished at just how badly you have been mispronouncing it. Please note that whilst 'plutonium' and 'uranium' also end in 'nium', you have consistently singled out 'aluminium' for special treatment. This is an example of the sort of favouritism that landed you in this mess. The letter 'U' will be also be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than bone idleness on your part and will no longer be tolerated. Equally, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee'). You will also learn that the name of your new Governor is pronounced 'Beecham-Fanshaw' and not 'Bo-champ-Feather-stone-hawg'.

Women should wear frocks at all times and men should wear woolen suits and suitable headgear (a trilby—or during the four days of Summer—an Oxford straw boater).

July 4th will no longer a public holiday. April 1st will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called 'Revocation Day.'

As a sign of contrition for your ancestors' insubordination and rebellion, five grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself. You will no longer be permitted to drink 'iced tea'. No one else does.

Sex. You will no longer be permitted to enjoy sex. Sex is not something decent people enjoy. The sexual enjoyment you see portrayed on British television shows and in the British Press is simulated for American audiences and dirty foreigners who don't know any better. The British only have sex within wedlock, behind closed doors and under the bedcovers with the lights off, and then only to procreate the race. Consequently anyone caught enjoying sex will be publicly flogged before being sent to the Falkland Islands—or possibly Guantanamo Bay—for compulsory re-education.

Welcome to the British Commonwealth!"