A “senior gay Conservative”, according to The Times, is claiming that former British Prime Minister Sir Edward Heath propositioned men for sex in the 1950s.

“Senior gay Conservative” indeed. Is he a “senior gay” who happens to be Conservative or a senior Conservative who happens to be gay? I regard homosexuality as a matter of indifference. I simply do not care whether Ted Heath was gay or not. He took us into the EU, or Common Market, as it was then. Now that’s a real sin. Being gay does not make somebody interesting, funny, kind or clever, nor does being straight. This story caught my eye for other reasons.

Before you read further, an explanatory note. “Cottaging” in – as it were – the Queen’s English, denotes casual gay sex in public toilets. I doubt whether this word is used in America – given the relative sizes of our countries, perhaps Americans call it ranching. Anyway, back to the story:

Brian Coleman, chairman of the London Assembly, claimed that the former Prime Minister curbed his behaviour after he was warned that it would harm his career…

“It was certainly not a secret that he was an old queen. I have been told that he was warned about his behaviour and then stopped.”

In a column for the online edition of the New Statesman, Mr Coleman wrote that Sir Edward was one of a number of gay men who have thrived in government.

He wrote: “The late Ted Heath managed to obtain the highest Office of State after he was supposedly advised to cease his cottaging activities in the 1950s when he became a Privy Counsellor,” he wrote.

Those who can, do; those who can’t, counsel.

Heath would not be the first British Prime Minister to be connected with toilets. Churchill’s Private Secretary came looking for him to announce the arrival of the Lord Privy Seal. Churchill was in the toilet, and replied: “Tell the Lord Privy Seal that the Prime Minister is sealed in the privy and can only deal with one sh*t at a time.”

Then there was Neville Chamberlain, who was overheard while in the toilet saying: “I have in my hand a piece of paper.”