One thing the Western world must understand about the Muslim mindset is these jihadists really believe they are acting in self-defense - or in defense of Islam and Muslims generally. The Western world, by virtue of its very existence is the aggressor in their minds. The woman who tries to leave an abusive husband is attacking his honor. The daughter who rejects an arranged marraige is attacking the family. Likewise, by mowing down concert goers and diners in street cafes in Paris, the jihadis were defending Islam and Muslims from the decadent West. They are never the aggressors; they are always defenders, always the victims.
The West has to understand this.
And we must apply the Confucian attitude; Respond to kindness with kindness, and to aggression with justice. And, adhere to your own standards of decency, evidence, fairness, and behavior toward others.