Management speak is everywhere. Hugh posted earlier about “Worship Resources”. Not to be outdone, Muslims have got in on the act, as I observed earlier this year:
While rejecting much of what is good about Western civilisation, such as art, music, scientific objectivity, democracy and individual freedom, Muslims are more than willing to use some of its products, particularly technology, such as mobile phones, DVDs and the internet. Often these technological innovations are used to spread an ideology which is directly opposed to the civilisation that made innovation possible.
Esmerelda's post here about the Muslim Public Affairs Committee "training course" shows a chilling example of this. The "course" is designed to train Muslims to subvert the West and propagate a backward ideology. Yet it is couched in the dead language of modern management speak. I have highlighted in bold the jargon which would not look out of place at a management consultants' training course or a new-agey life coaching session:
Groundbreaking courses with modules on Strategy, Political Affairs, the Media, Islamophobia and Political Jihad will teach you how. MPACUK Training is based on practical results. You will gain an understanding of some of the most important challenges facing Muslims in Britain and the world. It will deliver successfully proven and innovative solutions to these challenges and teach you how to counter an increasingly dangerous and threatening environment.
You will return to your communities with practical, proven and effective methods of initiating positive change in all walks of life. It won’t cost you anything, except your time and your sense of civic responsibility inherent to Islam.
Delivering "solutions" is what so many companies do these days. They don't make things or deliver things, but they deliver "solutions". This word is a bit of a joke, and has been mocked very effectively in Private Eye. Here are some examples. Notice how I credit Private Eye when using their material, rather than try to pass it off as my own:
“LexJet product solutions for inkjet printers” – ink and paper
“JDP offers total solutions in water management systems” – drains
“SirsiDynix: the world leader in Strategic Technology Solutions for Libraries” – catalogues
“Farrell: Exceptional office desking solutions” – desks
“Rainline: a unique steel-based rain drainage solution”- gutters
“Timbmet Silverman: Responsible Timber Product Solutions” – wood
“Glassex 07: Delivering fenestration solutions” – windows
“Emco offer a total solution to your corporate entrance matting requirements” – doormats
In the context of Islam "solutions" has an unpleasant ring to it. Islamic solutions have a way of being final.
From Islamic solutions may the Good Lord deliver us.