I was sitting quietly at my table in the NER double-wide, such extravagance, in downtown Atlantis when this landed upon it. What’s a man supposed to do? I simply had to share it with you.
This article, thanks AFP, just had me in stitches!
An elderly Indonesian woman famed nationwide for supernatural skills in lengthening penises has died, reports said Thursday.
Reclusive Mak Erot, famed for penis extension treatment incorporating traditional herbs and Islamic prayer, died last week in Caringin village on the western coast of Java island, the Kompas daily's website reported.
Mak Erot -- who reports aged anywhere from 101 to over 130 -- prompted legions of imitations of her famous clinics, many using her famously craggy and birthmarked face to lure in anxious men.
[...]
User "Jengkol" wrote on news website Detikcom: "Oh no, I didn't have the chance to go to Mak Erot and now she's dead. I'll just have to buy a vacuum. Maybe that could be the solution to my problem."
!? !? Hoover?! Damn! What am I missing here?
The Telegraph has more details.
Mak Erot developed a family business empire offering penis extensions and cures for other sexual maladies using the power of Muslim prayer and a cocktail of 141 herbs. One of her 40 grandchildren, Haji Saifuloh, 37, explained that the secret was revealed when Mak Erot prayed for 141 days following the death of her mother in the 1940s.
"Her prayer was answered with this gift of sexual healing," he said. A voice from the spirit world told his grandmother, "You can cure anyone who has a small penis or whose penis has died. You can cure them!"
Her early patients were occupying Japanese soldiers during the Second World War and the first clinic opened in 1945. The enterprise grew as dramatically as Mak Erot claimed her patients did. Now there are several clinics around the country including Haji Saifuloh's, which he recently moved to a Jakarta hotel to take advantage of the extra parking.
‘Hotel’, ‘Extra parking’! I wish I could stop laughing for long enough to analyse the implications of those two!
The Telegraph recently visited the ill-lit room in the hotel where he practises his skills. A collection of wooden phalluses which patients can choose between as a model for their own was on display.
Can I stop laughing now? Please, it’s starting to hurt!
"Doctors are amazed with the results of our herbs," he boasted. "The famous sexologists have given our clinics the thumbs up."
Don’t ask! That’s a new one for me, too!
He said that "countless" satisfied customers have paid him £40 each for a 30-minute consultation. "It always works," he claimed.
The claims made for Mak Erot's powers were large...
Well, of course they were, oh-oh, there goes my spleen; I’ve got to stop laughing!
...and, whatever their truth or otherwise, found a wide audience of believers.
And all this from the staid old Telegraph – what is the world coming to? Oh no, I wish I hadn’t said that!
As I said, you just couldn’t make it up (so to speak)!
Altogether far too many exclamation marks!
Over to you, Mary!
