McCain: "A chicken in every pot."

Obama: "Two chickens in every pot."

McCain: "Three chickens"

Obama: "Four chickens"

McCain:"Not only will my administration give you four chickens, but we'll give you an extra pot and a spoon to stir it with."

Obama: "We'll give you four chickens, an an extra pot, a spoon to stir it with and carrots and onions to go with it. Plus, we'll give you full health coverage in case you should burn yourself or drop the spoon on your foot."

McCain: "Not only will my administration give you four chickens, an an extra pot, a spoon to stir it with, carrots and onions AND potatoes to go with it. But we'll also give you full health coverage in case you should burn yourself or drop the spoon on your foot. Not only that, my administration understands that not every American has the ability to make chicken soup on their own, so we'll provide cooking instructions as well."

Obama: "We'll give you a cook."

McCain: "We'll give you a cook and a maid to clean up the kitchen afterward. Plus we'll put that maid on the path to citizenship so one day she can have the four chickens, an extra pot, a spoon, vegetables, health insurance, a cook and a maid."

Obama: "And then we'll start all over again."

McCain: "For once I agree with my respected colleague - that one."

Obama: "Although Senator McCain is a repulsive human being and generally exercises erratic judgment about everything, we do agree on this issue."