96 and Not Dead Yet: Doling it out by the Bucketful

by Reg Green (November 2025)

With both parties throwing out more money than ever to buy votes, I’m reminded of how large the bribes seemed when I was young but look infinitesimal today when anything less than a billion or two is regarded as an insult. I remember a story of one president visiting a reservation—called Indian then, Native American now—and his announcement that the federal government would pave a short stretch of road being greeted by great shouts of what sounded like something out of an old Western, “Oompah, oompah!” and his promise of a new school set off a frenzy of “Oompah, oompahs.”
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Walking out afterward to his limousine to travel to a neighboring reservation to hand out a similar handful of crumbs, he was looking forward to a similar reception when the tribal chief accompanying him suddenly whispered, “Be careful, Mr. President, don’t step in the oompah.”
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P. S.  The US has no monopoly of election money finding its ways into the wrong pockets though it is often done with a little more finesse.
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When a few days ago France’s former President, Nicolas Sarkozy, was sentenced to five years for campaign finance conspiracy, he took to prison the three books he was allowed. One was a biography of Jesus Christ, another The Count of Monte Cristo, in which the hero escapes from an impregnable prison and avenges himself on his enemies. That should add a little sauce Hollandaise to the dry bread and water.
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Duke Ellington, who also had more finesse than many US presidents, made a tasteful balance between spiritual and physical comfort when in a game show he was allowed two objects if marooned on a desert island: one he chose was the Bible, the other Lena Horne.

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