by Bill Corden (June 2019)
Graham Greene in Antibes, Paul Hogarth, 1985
I struggle with an iPad,
Fight a mobile phone—
The kids think that I am old and sad
And shouldn’t be out alone
Sure, I’m getting slower
Than I was back in my prime.
And, like a push-pull mower,
I’m likely past my time.
But grass still grows just like it did,
A million years ago.
And it’s still cut the same old way,
Despite life’s ebb and flow.
Life’s constants never change that much—
We eat, we sleep, we die—
Not one of us has figured out
The burning question . . . why?
Who can help you make your way
To the final exit door?
Who can guide you day to day
Who’s seen it all before?
Well, not to toot my trumpet,
Nor to blow my horn . . .
But, I’ve dealt with lots of crumpet
Since long ere you were born.
I’ve seen a lot of winsome lasses
Turn into nagging shrews . . .
And shapely, curvy, comely asses
That grew and grew and grew . . .
I’ve seen the guys who guarantee
To get you riches plenty.
They can set your future free
But leave your wallet empty.
I’ve seen my share of bosses
Who don’t know chalk from cheese,
Nail you to the roughest crosses
Yes sir, thank you, please.
I still make my mistakes, it’s said—
Follow my heart and not my head—
But, now, I minimize the harm,
Now I don’t bet all the farm.
I’ve got the sense to cut and run
Getting old’s a lot of fun
I’ll finish up and emphasize
An elder’s counsel’s mostly wise.
If you’ve got problems with existence,
See a person with persistence.
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Bill Corden is a happily retired sports columnist living in Vancouver, British Columbia. Now he writes, plays music and makes people laugh.
Follow NER on Twitter @NERIconoclast