Racist Things

by Armando Simón (August 2020)

I am Better than Those Motherfuckers and They Know it, Wadsworth  Jarrell, 1969



There is something dangerously wrong with a society that ignores the exposure of intellectual impostors. —Nikos Salingaros


The explosion of riots and demonstrations following the death of George Floyd, almost always in Democrat run cities, has also led to a profusion of accusations of “systemic racism,” as well as blatantly racist remarks and accusations by white self-racists and some blacks. It has become obvious that if one is a raving mediocrity but wants praise and encouragement and money, then using the race card is the way to go. Accusations of racism were thrown around like confetti years before even Floyd was wheezing, and most of them were bizarre, if not stupid. It says a lot about today’s climate that not only have these accusations been seriously put forth, but have been believed.

  • Kimberley Cline, President of Long Island University at Brooklyn is unilaterally scrapping the century-old mascot Blackbird because she thinks that the black bird is offensive, in spite of alumni objections. One wag wondered if the Air Force airplane Blackbird would likewise be scrapped for the same imbecilic reason.

  • University of Mississippi sociology professor James Thomas again referred to young people who wear MAGA hats as Hitler Youth. Although at one point, he was on the verge of being turned down for tenure, you know that the university administration was not going to pass up an opportunity to give tenure to one of their own creatures. In the past, he had urged leftists to take away food from Republican lawmakers or to defile their food. No Mississippian has had the backbone to do to him what he urges be done to others.

  • Just when you thought that liberals could not possibly be more insane, we learn that the number 8 is a racist number. Now you know.

  • From the hivemind known as The New York Times, aka The New York Pravda, we learn that lawns are racist.

  • As is well known by now, blonde haired, blue eyed, Senator Elizabeth Warren claimed to be Native American and use that minority classification to wrangle a job at a law firm which was seeking to hire a “minority person.” It turned out to be a fraud, as repeatedly pointed out by Trump who nicknamed her Pocahontas. Without an ounce of remorse or shame, she continued her assertions until a DNA test proved she was a fraud, whereupon she is running for President. When she was referred to as Fauxcahontas during the race, a Huffington Post hack was outraged because that label was racist.

  • Something that has become fashionable among leftist intellectuals is to claim that Christopher Columbus was a “war criminal” and carried out “genocide,” parroting the buzzwords that leftists habitually use. Beverly Smith, an anthropologist—for a change—at the University of Michigan at Flint puts up Wanted posters of the navigator at every anniversary. It states his crimes the usual leftist dribble: genocide, racism, etc. all crimes mined from falsified histories written by Marxists. The anthropology department in that university indoctrinates its students with “cultural relativism.” In reality, all of the “crimes” attributed to him are fabrications by Marxist historians and repeated ad nauseam by the media hivemind. There is no—none—not one!—contemporary, historical, source that cites his crimes. Ironically, sickeningly so, the sources reveal that, if anything, he constantly tried to prevent crimes to the Indians by the Spaniards (but once a lie is repeated 10,000 times, it sticks, particularly in stupid or ignorant minds).

  • This could actually be under the Bizarre Comments section (actually, this whole section could be under the Bizarre comments section), an incredibly fat black woman has declared that obesity is racism.

  • Yale University had a podcast hosted by Soleil Ho who claims that American food is—what else?—racist. That’s right. The event was co-sponsored by Yale’s Poynter Fellowship in Journalism, the Yale Center for the Study of Race, Indegenity, and Transnational Migration, the Timothy Dwight College (a dorm), the Yale Sustainable Food Program, and the Asian American Cultural Center.

  • If you are a mediocrity, if you lack any type of talent or any intelligence, you can always blame racism. And scream. Scream a lot. That will always intimidate the timid. Case in point is ghetto trash Ryan Wash Weber State University. Not only that, this mediocrity says that stars, space, planets, galaxies, and science do not exist, they are just racist ideas.

  • In Down Under, Andrew Rule won a horserace and was happy that the horse was bred in Australia rather than imported. Well, of course, that was racist! Osman Faruqui, deputy editor of ABC Life, became outraged at the racism. No doubt that he was thinking that, some day, horses would be giving the Nazi salute. “The culture is so racism we’re being xenophobic about racehorses.”

  • At Baylor university, Diamond Dominguez was caught plagiarizing and was kicked out of the class, which would have postponed her graduation. So, she used the race card, went to social media, and had Da Brodas and Da Sistahs agitate in her favor. To their surprise, the university administration backed the professor.

  • Eric King Watts, a professor of communication studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill declared that free speech is racist during UNC Greensboro conference titled “Finding Expression in Contested Public Spaces.” All the attendees agreed that free speech should be curtailed if anything is said that they do not like.

  • Traffic signals are racist. You see, there’s this little white figure in Walk signals. . . .

  • Collecting art work from white male artists for a museum is racist.

  • One species of bird has been discovered to be racist: the McCown’s Longspur.

  • This comes from The National Museum of African American History & Culture: the following values are racist: Work Ethic, Intact family, Scientific outlook, Rational thinking, Independence and autonomy, Delayed gratification, Punctuality, Politeness. In other words, for a black person to be fully black, devoid of white contamination, he/she must be: a bastard, rude, stupid, subservient, and never punctual. But . . . isn’t that exactly what racists have been saying about blacks for centuries? You cannot make this up!

  • Museums are now racist, according to Professors Tasha N. Dubriwny and Kristan Poirot, from Texas A&M University, the same university that has a racist professor named Tommy Curry, who called for the killing of white people (A&M president Michael Young defended Curry).

  • Books by Dr. Seuss are racist. And, in order to make such idiocies appear respectable, journals have been formed to serve as window dressing, in this particular instance printing a paper that proves that Dr. Seuss was, indeed, an evil, evil racist, authored by Katie Ishizuka of the The Conscious Kid Library and Ramón Stephens, from at the University of California, San Diego. Before too long, leftists will soon claim that Dr. Seuss was worse than Dr. Mengele.

  • The seeking of objective truth and facts is now . . . racist.

  • Using one’s hands while speaking is now racist.

  • White cooks selling burritos is now racist (it remains to be seen whether whites eating Mexican food at Mexican restaurants will also be considered racist).

  • University of Iowa professor Sarah Bond has declared that white marble, used in sculpture, is racist. Only a mindless knee jerk liberal could use this kind of reasoning without being embarrassed. As Camille Paglia has stated in Provocations, “I’m sorry, but we simply cannot permit uncultivated neurotics to set the agenda for arts education in America.” (p.378)

  • Using mathematics in art, such as the Fibonacci ratio, is racist, and used by Nazis

  • The Smithsonian—yes, that’s right, the Smithsonian—has declared that objective thinking is racist. That demonstrates the extent of Communist infiltration.

  • Lisa Wade, a sociology professor at Occidental College in California (again) called for the banning of fraternities having white members, but retaining black fraternities.

  • According to the UK’s Oxford University’s Equality and Diversity Unit, not making eye contact is racism and can cause “mental ill-health.”

  • The music video, “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred, is racist because the men are bald (i.e., “skinheads”).

  • Science is racist colonialism, which should be replaced with African voodoo. (No, no, I am not making this up! I swear it!)

  • White milk is racist. Riiiiiiight.

  • Truth is racism. These people are serious!

  • The painting of a black person by a white artist is now racist.

  • Certain hairstyles are now racist.

  • Green frogs are now racist.

  • Wood paneling is now racist, according to a well-informed student at the University of Michigan by the name of Anna Wibbelman.

  • Plastic wrap is either racist or sexist (not sure which), but it is definitely be a hate crime.

  • Since incidents of racism in college are practically nonexistent, leftist students or professors fake them in order to get sympathy for their Cause. 

  • Ismael Chamu from the University of California (Berkeley) (again!!!) was caught vandalizing and committing hate crimes, so he claimed that he was racially profiled and the Associated Students of the University of California,  without knowing any of the details of the incident, instantly echoed his claims, but videos showed him committing those crimes. No doubt videos are also racist.

  • Asao B. Inoue, who teaches writing at University of Washington Tacoma, has declared grammar to be racist. All leftists exhibit verbal virtuosity (to use Thomas Sowell’s delicious phrase), and so, as a good sophist, he makes a good case for excusing incoherent, ungrammatical communication.

  • Silence is racist.

  • Tamarisk trees are racist.

  • Home schooling is now racist. Children should be brought to places where they can be properly indoctrinated.

  • When the Boston Museum of Fine Arts held a “kimono Wednesday,” a group of white students, with two token Asian, non-Japanese students in tow, decided that such an event was (somehow) racist against the Japanese people and they knew that this was true because they were not Japanese and were liberals, and they held an uncharacteristically quiet demonstration against it with signs full of the usual moronic clichés that the left so adores. Because, you see, liberal white students have taken upon themselves to represent minorities and other cultures, especially the ones that they know nothing about. It got a little confusing when a group of real Japanese showed up and very politely asked them what the fuck they were doing and berated them for their idiotic stance and who, essentially, told them to mind their own bloody business. The real actual Japanese counter protestors wanted people to become more acquainted with Japanese culture, and appreciate it. “We actually do not quite understand what the point of their protest is,” said Jiro Usui, the Deputy Consul General of Japan in Boston. Neither do I. Predictably, and as always, the museum’s administrators had no backbone to stand up against the cretins and, predictably, cancelled the event.

  • Christian universities’ administrators of Northwest Nazarene and Alvernia University dropped the mutually held nickname, and mascot, of Crusaders as being potentially offensive. It remains to be seen whether they will adopt the nickname, and mascot, of Jihadists.

  • The outdoors is racist, and enjoying nature in groups is also racist, according to jackass Malcolm McCann of Pitzer College.

  • Algorithms are racist, according to Aaron Bornstein.

  • Two San Diego State University (SDSU) professors, Pascale Joassart-Marcelli and Fernando J. Bosco, condemned food markets as being racist. What makes this particular asinine proclamation unique, if not bizarre, is that the two authors are geologists instead of the usual liberal arts mediocrities. Maybe they were trying to get tenure?

  • The ages old OK sign is now racist. This is not a joke. Predictably, some people are now using it to deliberately send liberals into hysterics.

  • Laurie Rubel, a professor at Brooklyn College, has declared that meritocracy is racist. Apparently, mediocrity should be the rule, of which she is a prime candidate.

  • A coin toss is now racist.

  • The national anthem is now racist.

  • Computers are now racist.

  • Proving once more that there is a decidedly imbecilic aspect to liberals is that the classic toy much loved by children of Mr. Potato Head was declared to be racist. No word yet as to whether Mrs. Potato Head is also racist. The statue of Mr. Potato Head was torn down to appease the critics.

  • And it doesn’t let up. A gorilla statue in a children’s playground in Corsicana was removed after some white liberals claimed it was racist—even though no one had ever made any racist comments. In other words, it was the liberals themselves who thought the gorilla was an African-American! 

  • Some morons in Jacksonville, Florida, had a hissy fit when a DNC person said “colored people” instead of “people of color.” Apparently, these morons never hear of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

  • In of all places, Fort Hays State University, Kansas, a student—one student!— objected to the classic comedy The Mikado because she said it was racist and full of cultural appropriation. At least, this proves that liberals, like cockroaches, can be found everywhere where you least expect it.

  • According to The LA Times, the reason that the rate for sexually transmitted diseases in blacks is so high is due to racism and not hygiene.

  • Pumpkin spice lattes are racist. Ooh, Starbucks is in trouble. Time for another sensitivity training across all stores!

  • The Christmas song, Jingle Bells, is racist, according to Boston University’s own cretin, Kyna Hamill.

  • The children’s cartoon, Thomas the Train, is racist. Absolutely nothing is sacred to leftists, except their hatred.

  • Pancakes are racist. Now, the question is: will leftists stop eating breakfast, as a mark of solidarity?

  • The asinine editors of the campus newspaper The OU Daily declared that flesh colored underwear is racist.

  • It is now racist to try harder. At Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, a black student who skipped classes was told by the teacher to try harder, at which point the student concluded that effort was racist.

  • Girls who wear their hair braided are racist. Braids are racist.

  • Posting signs in buildings that state that the building may not be structurally safe is racist, according to the NAACP of the People’s Democratic Republic of Portland.

  • Universities are places of white supremacy. Yeah. Right.  

  • Teaching one’s children to succeed and be excellent is racist. It’s better to encourage them to fail at everything.

  • The Constitution’s electoral college is racist.

  • Knitting is racist, according to an article by hack writer Jaya Saxena in Vox. Who is also a witch. No. Really. She is a witch.

  • Certain types of ice cream are now racist, according to the cretin Traci Schmidley. Even the song that ice cream trucks play is considered to be racist by some progressives.

  • And it never stops! A panel discussion held at Viterbo University had one Alyssa Gostonczik who declared that if a white person treats a black person equally, then the white person is being a racist. She also railed against Christianity and that by a person being heterosexual, “if you are not on the LGBTQQIAP spectrum, you’re privileged.” She then instructed that L=“Lesbian,” G=“Gay,” B=“Bisexual,” T=“Transgender,” Q=“Queer,” second Q=“Questioning,” I=“Intersex,” A=“Asexual,” and P=“Pansexual.” (She omitted BS and LMAO)

  • At Boston University, Robin DiAngelo, the traveling hatemonger who otherwise has her den at the University of Washington, told a crowd that white people who treat everyone the same are “dangerous,” presumably meaning that they are racists. Elsewhere, she has been welcomed in various institutions so that she can spread her poison, such as at the University of Texas in Austin (big surprise), where she told students that too many white people are teachers.

  • Mispronouncing one’s name is now racism.

  • Rutger University has an imbecile named Brittney Cooper who claims that the concept of time is racist and that Jesus was “queer.” The imbecile is tenured.

  • Another imbecile named Nicholas Mirzoeff, a “visual activist,” who works on the “intersection” of politics, race, and global culture gave a lecture at Cooper Union School in New York City claiming that Western architecture was racist.

  • Nor is he alone. The University at Buffalo, SUNY hosted a symposium called “The Whiteness of American Architecture.” It was simply another opportunity for hate-filled totalitarian leftists to throw feces at American culture, their favorite pastime.  

  • Wanting to reopen schools is racist.

So, in short, take comfort that, no matter how asinine, how psychotic, how revolting, your anti-white racism, there are legions of enablers out there who will welcome your thoughts on the matter and reward you. Some will take you seriously.

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Armando Simón is a retired forensic psychologist and author of A Prison Mosaic, Samizdat 2020, and Very Peculiar Stories.

Follow NER on Twitter @NERIconoclast


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