Redemption

by Moshe Dann (September 2013)

. It was, he told himself, the best he could do.    

He tried to persuade her to stay, but she was more determined. Standing before three rabbis of the Bet Din, he uttered the formal phrases that severed his marriage and afterwards walked alone through the streets until dusk like the survivor of a shipwreck.

That night he went to say goodbye to his son. They clung to each other trying to find words that whirled like bits of paper in the wind as he hummed their favorite nigun.

.

.

The afternoon of Rosh Hashana, Mendel arrived early in shul, arranged the seats and placed special white curtains on the ark, a white cloth for the bima where the Torah was read and white covers for Torah scrolls. As the sky darkened, he stood in his usual place in the corner swaying to familiar prayers and melodies, and uneasiness.

. The night sky, without a moon, an emptiness..

After the morning service on Rosh Hashana was over, it was time to hear the shofar. Standing with Rabbi Rosenstein before the Torah scrolls, he intoned

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

By the time the congregation reassembled, Rosenstein stood smiling hopefully with Leibel and Shimi, two shofar-blowers from other shuls, waiting at his side. Looking around with self-assurance, he nodded to the scowling president.

.

“

.”

.”

.

.

. “I feel like a fraud …”

. and we make mistakes… We don’t pray  because we are whole, but because we are broken. Isn’t that enough?”

.’” He stopped. “And God, well, I have issues with Him …”

.

.

To comment on this story, please click here.

here.

If you enjoyed this essay and want to read more by Moshe Dann, please click here.