The Last Days of My Father

by Mark Anthony Signorelli (February 2014)

It was on this day that I decided for the first time to spend the night with my father. He needed constant attention from his nurses to alleviate his unbearable pain, but the care in the cardiac unit clearly lagged behind the oncology unit in this respect, so I wanted to make sure I could be there to bug the nurses whenever my father needed his percocet. I would stay with him every night for the next week, sleeping in a recliner that was by the window. From this point on, I can hardly distinguish the events of one day from the next, and my narrative is bound to reflect this haziness.

It was during this time that he started to refuse food. At most, he would take a couple of mouthfuls of something soft, or even a soup, but that was all I could get in to him. Eventually, he stopped taking even that much. He could always get abrasive if nagged too much, and I still felt all the filial reverence for him that I did when I was eight years old, so I pleaded with him as gently as I could at first to get him to eat, always relenting when I sensed his anger rising. After a day or two, however, I determined to push the food upon him as doggedly as I could, but it made no difference. He said he was having trouble swallowing, but I think also he had just given up. I grew exasperated.

Distant Lands and Near, is now available. His personal website can found at: markanthonysignorelli.com

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