clear
Saturday, 29 July 2017
Grey Parrot Disappointed To Discover Rest Of Aviary A Bunch Of Idiots
Share
clear

The Onion: PITTSBURGH—Saying he didn’t know how long he could put up with his enclosure companions, an African grey parrot was reportedly disappointed Monday to discover that the other birds in his new aviary are a bunch of idiots. “They seemed cool when I got here last week, but the more I talk to them, the more I realize they’re all morons,” said the 33-year-old bird, adding that he found it impossible to relate to the cockatoos and parakeets who “sit there squawking at their own stupid reflections in the mirror all goddamn day.” “Every bird here is dumber than the last. I was using a twig to retrieve food from a hole, and the entire time this dipshit toucan was just staring at me with seeds all over his dumb beak. And half of them just march up and down the same fucking branch literally nonstop, but they’re so fucking idiotic they never get bored of it.” At press time, the exasperated African grey realized he either had to escape or wait for the other stupid birds to break their necks flying into the walls of the cage.

You said it brother.

clear
Posted on 07/29/2017 1:51 PM by Tolstoy, the Parrot
Comments
No comments yet.


Order from Amazon or Amazon UK today!


Order from Amazon or Amazon.UK today!


Order from Amazon US
or Amazon UK today!

Audiobook


Amazon donates to World Encounter Institute Inc when you shop at smile.amazon.com/ch/56-2572448. #AmazonSmile #StartWithaSmile

Subscribe

Categories

Adam Selene (1) A.J. Caschetta (7) Alexander Murinson (1) Andrew Harrod (3) Bat Ye'or (6) Bradley Betters (1) Brex I Teer (9) Brian of London (32) Christina McIntosh (863) Christopher DeGroot (2) Conrad Black (493) Daniel Mallock (5) David P. Gontar (7) David Solway (78) David Wemyss (1) Dexter Van Zile (74) Dr. Michael Welner (3) Emmet Scott (1) Eric Rozenman (4) Esmerelda Weatherwax (9513) Fergus Downie (5) Fred Leder (1) Friedrich Hansen (7) G. Murphy Donovan (62) Gary Fouse (140) Geert Wilders (13) Geoffrey Botkin (1) Geoffrey Clarfield (328) Hannah Rubenstein (3) Hossein Khorram (2) Howard Rotberg (4) Hugh Fitzgerald (20975) Ibn Warraq (10) Ilana Freedman (2) James Como (23) James Robbins (1) James Stevens Curl (2) Janice Fiamengo (1) Jerry Gordon (2508) Jerry Gordon and Lt. Gen. Abakar M. Abdallah (1) Jesse Sandoval (1) John Constantine (122) John Hajjar (5) John M. Joyce (390) Jonathan Ferguson (1) Jonathan Hausman (4) Joseph S. Spoerl (10) Kenneth Lasson (1) Kenneth Timmerman (25) Lorna Salzman (9) Louis Rene Beres (37) Marc Epstein (8) Mark Anthony Signorelli (11) Mark Durie (7) Mark Zaslav (1) Mary Jackson (5066) Matthew Hausman (41) Michael Curtis (609) Michael Rechtenwald (15) Mordechai Nisan (2) Moshe Dann (1) NER (2589) New English Review Press (66) Nidra Poller (73) Nikos A. Salingaros (1) Nonie Darwish (10) Norman Berdichevsky (86) Paul Oakley (1) Paul Weston (5) Paula Boddington (1) Peter McLoughlin (1) Philip Blake (1) Phyllis Chesler (77) Rebecca Bynum (7181) Richard Butrick (24) Richard Kostelanetz (16) Richard L. Benkin (21) Richard L. Cravatts (7) Richard L. Rubenstein (44) Robert Harris (84) Sally Ross (36) Sam Bluefarb (1) Sha’i ben-Tekoa (1) Springtime for Snowflakes (4) Stephen Schecter (1) Steve Hecht (25) Ted Belman (8) The Law (90) Theodore Dalrymple (852) Thomas J. Scheff (6) Thomas Ország-Land (3) Tom Harb (3) Tyler Curtis (1) Walid Phares (29) Winfield Myers (1) z - all below inactive (7) z - Ares Demertzis (2) z - Andrew Bostom (74) z - Andy McCarthy (536) z - Artemis Gordon Glidden (881) z - DL Adams (21) z - John Derbyshire (1013) z - Marisol Seibold (26) z - Mark Butterworth (49) z- Robert Bove (1189) zz - Ali Sina (2)
clear
Site Archive