Non-Denial of Death
There are two entrances whose invitations to enter I find it difficult to resist: those to bookshops and those to cemeteries.
No doubt there are some who might think that an attraction to cemeteries is morbid, but I would argue precisely the opposite: rather, that he who avoids cemeteries, and never visits them, is the one who is morbid, in that he thereby tries to flee consciousness of, and the need to reflect on, his own mortality.
Cemeteries tend, of course, tend to be places of calm and quiet. During a four-week stay in Nottingham, a city in England made peculiarly hideous to the view by modernist architecture and town planning, I used to take refuge on my daily walks in its rather beautiful municipal cemetery. I met a gardener there who was tending the grounds with great care, the kind of care that people show only when they love their work.
‘You like working here?’ I said to him.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘The residents are well-behaved.’
It is unlikely that he would have replied thus anywhere else in Nottingham.
Of course, there has been throughout history a fear that the dead and buried will not remain well-behaved, but will rise up in some form or other, material or immaterial, to interfere maliciously in the lives of the still-living. And even though few people are inclined to believe such things nowadays, I think equally few would care to spend a night in a cemetery, even those who wouldn’t mind spending a night in an open field.
I am fortunate, considering my taste for cemeteries, to have the most famous cemetery in the world, Père Lachaise, on my doorstep in Paris. It is my favourite place to walk, I find it inexhaustible. A near neighbour of ours, Madame Jacqueline, who is eighty-eight, goes there every day to feed the cats despite her almost crippled state. She is admirable in her devotion. She used to walk her little black mongrel, Julie, who is now seventeen years old, round the block, but she let her daughter, who lives in the suburbs, take her because she could offer her a better life with a garden. Anyone who has grown to love a dog, as Madame Jacqueline undoubtedly loved Julie, will appreciate what a selfless act this was on Madame Jacqueline’s part. She put her dog’s welfare above her own.
Yesterday, I took my afternoon walk in Père Lachaise. Often I read a little as I go, and yesterday I took with me a book with me by Karl Hans Strobl, translated from German into French, that contained a story, My Stay in Père Lachaise.
Strobl was born in Bohemia in 1877 and died in Vienna in 1946. As far as I am able to tell, he is completely unknown in English-speaking countries, and very little known in French. The fact that he was an enthusiastic Nazi has probably inhibited the spread of his reputation beyond the German-speaking world; he died in the utmost poverty in post-war Vienna after his house was taken over by the Soviets.
He was a writer of horror stories and published My Stay in Père Lachaise in 1913, before Nazism was ever thought of. In this story, a young man, a student of the natural sciences who believes himself capable of discovering totally new forces in nature, undertakes to live for a year night and day, in the tomb of a Russian exile in Paris, Anna Fedodorovna Vassilska, in exchange for 200,000 francs. Under the terms of Vassiliska’s will, he will be fed during their period by her chef and her servant, but he is neither to leave the tomb or divulge anything that he sees or experiences to the public. By agreeing to these terms, he hopes to put an end to his grinding poverty one and for all.
To cut a short story even shorter, Anna Feodorovna Vassilska turns out to be a vampire. In a state of delirium induced by her progressive exsanguination of him, he mistakes his beloved fiancée who visits him at the tomb for the vampire who has been attacking him at night and strangles her. Whether this is supposed symbolically to mean that love is a vampire that sucks the blood of intellectual ambition I cannot say, but Strobl is certainly capable of creating an atmosphere of supernatural mystery and menace.
These days, tombs are more likely to be used as places of assignation, particularly by homosexuals, than to be the haunt of vampires. Not long ago, I fell into conversation with a man who seemed particularly outraged by this: I think he would have preferred vampires. But I was told by someone else that Père Lachaise has long since been a place of assignation, and in 1891 Maupassant wrote a story, Les Tombales, about a woman who poses as a young widow and cries at the tomb of her supposed husband and who uses this role to attract and ensnare rich old men. Admittedly, the story is cited in the cemetery of Montmartre rather than in that of Père Lachaise, but there is no reason why it should not have taken place in the latter. The narrator of the story says that, like me, he has always been fond of cemeteries:
I like cemeteries myself, it rests me and makes me melancholy: I need that.
Nowadays also, Père Lachaise seems to be mined for marble plaques and other funerary accoutrements, though how they are removed by the thieves (unless with the co-operation of the staff) remains a mystery.
But what are the attractions of—I almost said of a good—cemetery, apart from the tranquillity that they offer even in the busiest of cities?
In Père Lachaise it is not at all difficult to find the tombs of the famous—Oscar Wilde, Balzac, Proust, Delacroix and so forth—but of course most people buried there are unknown, probably even to their descendants. Neglect of tombs in a cemetery, especially those that are pompous or grandiose, naturally gives rise to reflection on the transience of life, its glories and its tribulations: as Thomas Gray says in his Elegy, the most celebrated of all cemetery poems in English, the paths of glory lead but to the grave. Within three generations at the most, all memory that one has ever existed is extinguished, and no flowers will ever adorn one’s tomb again, though weeds may grow in the cracks, unless someone of a later generation is buried there.
The inscriptions on the tombstones give rise to melancholy thoughts, melancholy being by no means an entirely unpleasant state of mind. For example, often one finds a tombstone of a husband and his widow (usually, though not always, it is the man who dies first), the widow having survived her husband by forty or more years without, apparently, having remarried. Was she simply unable to find another husband, as must often have been the case in France of women widowed at early age in the First World War, the entire generation of men of their husbands’ age having been decimated during that catastrophic conflagration? Or were the widows so faithful to their husbands’ memories that they felt it would have been a betrayal to remarry? In some cases, no doubt, the experience of marriage must have been so painful—it is not only good people who die young—that, in accordance with Doctor Johnson’s dictum that a second marriage was the triumph of hope over experience, they let experience triumph over hope.
Whenever I see a tombstone recording so long a widowhood, I think of my uncle M___ and aunt S___. My uncle died young of a heart attack, though of course he did not seem young to me at the time—no adult did. I have rarely known a man who exuded enjoyment of life to such an extent. He is forever trapped in the amber of my memory as smiling, his black but thinning hair brilliantined over his scalp, his prominent eyes expressing perpetual amusement. He treated life as a joke, not in any cynical sense, but as if the world were funny. I remember at the party for his wife’s fortieth birthday he made a speech in which he said that he had considered trading her in for two twenty-year-olds. I couldn’t have been more than twelve at the time, but I have never forgotten the joke, or the good nature with which he made it.
In fact, he was the most uxorious of husbands, and so perfectly happy had been their marriage that my aunt lived on the memory of it for the rest of her life, between forty and fifty years, though not at all in the spirit of Miss Havisham, for she was still capable of enjoyment, though no doubt incomplete. But to have married again would have been like adding a modern extension, say by the architect Libeskind, to the Château of Chenonceau.
A cemetery such as Père Lachaise contains a thousand stimuli to reverie. Paris is a city par excellence of exile: one stumbles across the tomb of a princess of the Qajar dynasty (the Persian dynasty before that of the last Shah), that of a Russian Grand Duke, of an aristocrat of the defunct Brazilian empire, of an Indian rajah or rani, of an American painter. There are also Palestinian terrorists, Iranian communists, French generals, admirals, revolutionaries, anarchists, historians, economists, inventors, explorers, entomologists, merchants, doctors, painters, sculptors, composers, conductors, singers, actors, playwrights, engineers, sportsmen, bandits, politicians, film producers, bankers, grocers, industrialists, poets, philosophers, surgeons, sociologists, botanists, critics, priests, archaeologists and presidents of professional associations, for example of purveyors of charcuterie—all forgotten, except perhaps by specialists or scholars, but overall a lesson in the breadth and depth of our civilisation, a testimony to the sheer effort that has gone into what we so casually take for granted.
Among ordinary graves, one suddenly comes across something startling, for example the tomb of a worker for Brink’s lachement assassiné, cowardly murdered. Of course, the grave of a man who has been murdered—whose death was dramatic in a way that ordinary soldiers’ deaths win war were not, because they were collective rather than individual—arrests one’s attention, but in addition the word cowardly pulled me up short.
The man was in his forties, probably with children approaching adolescence. Their shock and grief, and that of his widow, who survived him by forty years, can all too easily be imagined, her subsequent life almost defined by a single wicked act. What became of his children? Were they affected for the rest of their lives? How much or often was the memory in their mind fifty years later? Did they go to the bad as a result? Or did the murder stiffen their resolve to make something of their lives?
Compared with the crime itself, objection to the misuse of a word, cowardly, might seem pedantic. And yet it seems to me not entirely unimportant. The fact is that, for most people, murder is not a cowardly act: on the contrary, it is one of conspicuous courage, even if it is arranged in such a fashion that the victim is unlikely to be able to fight back. In this case, even if the murderer merely shot the policeman in the back, he faced the death penalty if caught—as the statistics show that a murderer is likely to be. No: to murder, even in ‘cowardly’ fashion, takes courage.
The danger of using the word cowardly in connection with murder is that it conduces to moral confusion about what is wrong with killing another human being, at least without lawful excuse. If I say ‘It was a cowardly murder,’ the wrongness of the murder is diluted by the vice of cowardice. No one would say, ‘It was a brave murder,’ for the absurdity of doing so would be immediately apparent. Does the bravery of a murder mitigate in any way its wrongness, or its cowardice add to it? Is a strangulation committed by a person little stronger than his victim any less heinous than one committed by someone much stronger than his victim? Politicians have a tendency to call terrorists cowardly, when in fact they are very courageous. Courage is no virtue if it is misapplied, and from the purely practical point of view is not at all preferable to cowardice, rather the reverse.
The tragic dimension, if not nature, of human existence, is everywhere evident in cemeteries and churchyards. It is all too common to find, in the cemeteries of Britain and France, and no doubt in Germany too, graves commemorating the deaths of two, or even three, sons of the same parents killed in the Great War. The only way, I imagine, that the parents could even half accommodate their grief was by believing that their sons had died in a noble cause.
Cemeteries are like the News of the World, a British scandal sheet published on Sundays that used to advertise itself with the slogan All human life is there.
NER on Twitter @NERIconoclast
I knew a widow who simply seemed to think of marriage as something she tried; it went well enough; but she wasn't much interested in trying again with someone else. As far as I ever knew, her marriage was happy enough until near the end when the care of her dying husband must surely have taken a toll. Yet I never got the impression that she regretted their marriage. She lived many decades, finished raising their child and enjoyed the res of her life, including her grandchildren. I think some murderers are more cowardly than others - largely because of the methods they choose or the vulnerability of their targets, but sure, some people use "cowardly" to insult them when it is not the correct term.
I think I like old cemeteries because everything is so settled.
I really got the conflation of murder with other moral judgements which are actually separate. A timely piece for me, as I have just returned from a visit to Highgate Cemetery. The west cemetery is absolutely beautiful and full of hidden places, whereas east cemetery is full of those who want to say they have visited Marx.
Theodore Dalrymple is always interesting. Always. That last line stops the heart for a second. It brings to mind Yeats's lines: "They but thrust their buried men Back in the human mind again."
For what it's worth, I did actually once sleep in Pere Lachaise. The anecdote, which won't interest anyone except perhaps Theodore, and probably not even Theodore, runs thusly. In my youth I planned a novel called 'The City of the Dead', in whose opening pages we find the principal character in a state of delirium among the tombs of Pere Lachaise - a place of living death. He had 'caught' death, like a kind of virus, and thereafter infected everyone he knew with this creeping disease of mortality. The chief symptom was 'disorientation of passage', as a consequence of which you can never be sure that what you are doing at any time is not totally absurd and meaningless. This naturally leads to some startling behaviour. The tone would no doubt have been something like 'Steppenwolf'. Full of enthusiasm for this project I went to Paris to visit Pere Lachaise by way of location scouting. However, I was a student and in highly straitened means. I had hitch-hiked down there from Yorkshire, spending an almost sleepless night at the Dover ferry terminal. Paris was extraordinarily hot that day and I was feeling faint as I trudged through the boulevards to the cemetery. I was so wretched I couldn't even buy a drink for myself but filled a water bottle from the taps in a train station washroom. At Pere Lachaise I staggered around in a delirium fairly equal to that of my principal character and finally crumpled into slumber on the grass in front of the chapelle in the heat of the afternoon (I imagine this is no longer allowed, even in a medical emergency) - thereby experiencing my own ‘disorientation of passage’. Absurd and meaningless it certainly was, for the book never got published, nor even close to being finished. In the decades since, any reference to Pere Lachaise only floods me with the bitter futility of that day.
'News of the World' is a full bodied title and / or phrase. The novel of the same name, and the film too, are worthy pieces of art worth a look Dr. Dalrymple.
Thanks for a wonderful essay, Doctor. I visited Pere Lachaise in 2006. Among its many attractions, I loved the fact that parts of it are overgrown. Even Chopin's grave was buried in greenery. After visiting it, I guided a young Polish couple to the spot and probably saved them much time groping in the undergrowth. Oscar Wilde's grave was much visited. Despite a sign in English and French,the memorial by Epstein was smothered in gay graffiti. I understand that the exasperated cemetery authorities have since cleaned it and protected it with perspex panels
On a first date in 2006 with a man I had not seen but once since we graduated from high school in 1953, we decided after lunch to visit our community's old cemetery. We had classmates eternally resting in beautiful Grove Hill Cemetery (in Kentucky). Established in the 1700's, it is a large place of green, gentle rolling hills, and oak and maple trees whose girths exceed that of a thirty year old elephant. We walked around looking at the tombstones of our friends, reminiscing about their former personalities and accomplishments. Stopping at the gravesite of our class's former drum majorette and homecoming beauty queen, and who was a statuesque blue-eyed, blond, we noticed how dirty and unkempt her gravesite was. I was visiting our hometown from North Carolina, we returned late in the afternoon with a borrowed bucket of soapy water and a large brush to restore Mary Jo's tombstone, clean out the weeds, and plant a few flowers. She had died in her late 40's. Old cemeteries, in particular, are usually places of beauty, peace, and nostalgia. I find them comforting. They help us put into perspective all the petty nuisances of our lives; they renew our appreciation for living. As for my date, we married in 2008.