It’s a ji-hard life

Spare a thought for the suffering soldier of Allah. From The Telegraph:

A British jihadist with Isil has moaned that his Arab comrades are rude, do not know how to queue and eat like schoolchildren.

Omar Hussain also complained that his fellow terrorists talk loudly when he is trying to sleep, invade his space and steal his shoes.

Their bad driving, habit of staring at people and using his charger for their mobile phones also come under fire.

Hussain, a former security guard at a Morrison’s supermarket, hit out at his Syrian and other Arab colleagues in an online blog.

It is not the first time the 27-year-old, from High Wycombe, has complained about life under Isil.

Earlier this year he bemoaned having to peel potatoes without a peeler, having trouble washing his clothes and how he hadn’t been able to find a jihadi bride.

His latest blog, written under the Islamist name Abu Saeed al Britani, warns other Western fanatics thinking of going to Syria of “inevitable clashes in cultures”.

“Arabs as a whole have a unique culture, which differs dramatically from the western lifestyle,” he wrote.

“If one is unaware of these cultural differences then it could be quite peculiar, annoying and, at times, somewhat stressful to interact and associate with them.”

Try not to lose your head, Omar old chap. That could be quite annoying too. 

Under a series of subject headings, he goes on to criticise all those annoying habits.

Having attacked their administration skills, he said: “Another ‘great’ feature of Arabs in administration is that there is no queue in any of their offices.

“You could be waiting in line for half an hour and then another Arab would come and push in the queue and go straight in.”

On eating etiquette, he said “our Arab brothers, or Syrians to be more precise, lack these basic manners”.

He said when he was serving food he refused to give any out until “every single one of them was sitting down in their seat” adding: “Unfortunately I had to treat them like primary school students”.

“The difference between an Arab and a non-Arab in their manners in like the difference between the heavens and the earth.

The lack of privacy also annoyed Hussain, who lived with his mother before leaving for Syria last year.

He said his Arab colleagues would rummage through his belongings without asking and “they see no issue in unplugging your mobile phone to charge their own phone, even if it is your own charger”.

Be patient. In Paradise you will have 72 chargers, each more powerful than the last. Nay, the Battery of the Believer is eternal.

“Arabs in general do not know where the red line is in giving another brother his space.”

Syrians are also “very childish in their dealings and mannerisms”, he said, and also have a habit of borrowing his shoes when he takes them off.

He said it can be “quite irritating” to then have to wait for them to return.

Hussain is not alone in complaining about aspects of jihadist life.

Imran Khawaja, who was jailed earlier this year, complained to friends when he was in Syria that he could not obtain moisturiser or soft toilet paper.

My dear, the noise! The people!