by Petr Chylek (October 2024)
Being hurt, and struggling with whether or not to forgive, is a common part of the human experience. Very often, those who have been hurt feel little inclination to forgive, and there is no law in our society that says that we have to forgive those who committed an unkind act against us. However, both ancient religion and modern science have something to say about whether forgiveness is worthwhile.
The most direct connection to forgiveness is found in the teaching of Jesus in the New Testament [1]. In Matthew 6:14-15 we read: “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” This is a clear statement meaning that your trespasses will be forgiven if and only if you forgive the trespasses that others committed against you. Regardless of what else you might do, your trespasses will not be forgiven if you do not forgive the trespasses of others. Although this is a clear teaching of Jesus, it is not what most Christian Churches teach.
The teaching of Buddha, as summarized in Dhammapada [2], is more complicated but conveys a similar idea. The Dhammapada 1:3-4 states: “He insulted me, he hurt me, he defeated me, he robbed me. Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate. Those who think not such thoughts will be free from hate.” This passage advises us that if you want to be free of hate, you must forgive those who committed trespasses against you. Forgiveness is also a part of The Four Buddhist virtues. In addition to kindness, compassion, and joy of good work, forgiveness is stated as overlooking the faults of all. Thus, forgiveness is something you are expected to do, however, it is not stated explicitly that you have to do it. You should do it if you want to be free of hate.
In the Torah [3], which is the foundation of both Judaism and Christianity, we do not find a direct statement concerning the forgiveness of those who committed trespassing against us. However, we can derive it from the story about Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 37-45). Joseph behaved poorly, boasting about his dreams and belittling his brothers. His brothers, however, went overboard in their reaction, kidnapping Joseph and selling him as a slave to a passing caravan. Thus Joseph found himself as a servant of a rich person in Egypt. About twenty years later, after Joseph became a Vice-ruler of Egypt, his brothers came to him to buy some grain due to drought and crop failure in their land. The brothers did not recognize him, but Joseph knew who they were. Despite the violence with which they treated him earlier, he forgave them and treated them with respect. Additional more direct references to forgiveness are found in Talmud and Zohar.
It is amazing that wise people of the past, several thousand years ago, recommended actions similar to those of our current medical science. The web pages of the Mayo Clinic [4] define forgiveness as letting go of grudges and bitterness. They write: “Who hasn’t been hurt by the actions or words of another? … These wounds can leave lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness, anger, and even hatred. But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to improved mental health, less anxiety, stress, and hostility, lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and improved cardiovascular health.” Several medical reports reported a connection between stress and cancer. Thus, current medical science, as well as the opinions of wise human beings from thousands of years ago, support the benefits of forgiving the trespasses of others against us.
[1] The citation from the New Testament is from the King James Version
[2] The Dhammapada, J. Mascaro translator, Penguin Books, Harmondsworth, England 1980
[3] The Chumash, The Stone Edition, N. Scherman and M. Zlotowitz editors, Mesorah Publications, New York 2005
[4] The Mayo Clinic website at https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
Table of Contents
Petr Chylek is a theoretical physicist. He was a professor at several US and Canadian Universities. He is the author of over 150 publications in scientific journals and several essays published in New English Review. He thanks Lily A. Chylek for her comments and suggestions on an earlier version of this article.
Follow NER on Twitter @NERIconoclast
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11 Responses
Thank you.
I forgive you for this. But just barely.
Thank you, Petr
I once caught a docu where a Tutsi is forgiving the Hutu that hacked off both his arms. My first thought was that religion had irreparably poisoned his mind. Forgiving, in most instances, is a luxury daily life shouldn’t allow. In far too many instances, you are excusing (and thereby encouraging) unacceptable behaviour. Between forgiving and punishing evil doers, I lean towards the latter. In our times, relativism is a clear and present danger. Petr Chylek’s naive/saintly view of “forgiveness” is one of its symptoms.
Forgiving and punishing are not mutually exclusive. One does not preclude the other (and vice versa).
Childish and incomplete article. Should Israelis just forgive bombers, murderers, rapists, and baby burners? The author doesn’t even address these types of atrocities in order to refute it. Petr’s articles are getting worse every month.
This may be true. But, I am happy that you still read them.
Greetings,
Petr
The last sentence of this comment by ‘Smith’ was entirely gratuitous. Not worthy.
Petr Chylek is addressing us as if we intend to follow the mystics way. I don’t think he intended that this would be an easy road.
Dear Friends:
First of all, I thank you for reading my article. It is a pleasure to read your agreements and disagreements.
As you may realize I do not write about Tutsis and Hutus, not about Ukraine and Russia, nor even about Israel and their neighbors. I do not try to advise politicians on what to do and how to handle global and local problems. I assume those responsible read the New York Times and the Wall Street Journals, not the New English Review.
I write about what you should do. Yes, you. And I understand that many do not want to hear that. They think that taking revenge and getting even with those who hurt them is their eternal duty. Take a look at their family, their friends, and their “enemies”. Does not forgiving help them to lead a healthy joyful life? If yes, refuse to forgive and go on fighting. Forget the advice of old sages. I am sure that you know what is best for you.
I appreciate this comment from the author.
However, it is important to note that some things cannot be forgiven, that is, some things – and thus some people, are unforgivable and cannot be forgiven by other humans.
People who commit certain sorts of crimes, nations that do similar, place themselves outside the family of humanity.
It then becomes incumbent upon decent people to destroy those anti-humans for their own survival and the survival of their neighbors.
That is, NOT forgiving then becomes, as in this case, a moral imperative just as valid, if not more so, than forgiveness.
Chew on that then!!