by Reg Green
We may not be at the edge of nuclear annihilation, after all.
We’ve seen how creaky Russian technology is. Perhaps ours is too.
I say this because many years ago Art Buchwald wrote in one of his Washington Post columns that when the time finally comes for a President to press the red button all that will happen is the door of the White House garage will go up.
I hope this will never be put to test…
Saddam Hussein and George Bush meet up in Baghdad for peace talks. When George sits down, he notices three red buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time, a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he has finally had enough. Knowing that he can’t do much else but say “I’m going back home!” he tells Saddam, “we’ll finish these talks in two weeks!”
Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to Washington for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three similar buttons on Bush’s chair and prepares himself for the American’s revenge.
They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers.
A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
As things progress, the third button is pressed. Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
“Forget this,” says Saddam. “I’m going back to Baghdad!”
Through tears of laughter, Bush asks, “what Baghdad?”