By Lev Tsitrin
One could argue that upon hearing that New York’s Islamo-Socialist mayor Mamdani considers arresting Israel’s prime minister Netanyahu when he comes to speak to the UN in September, it is proper to think of things like diplomatic protocols, or legal limitations on local authorities that prevent them from causing international incidents — but being an ex-Soviet nerd that I am, I instead thought of poetry.
Not my own, of course — but that of a great 19-century author of many collections of versified fables, Ivan Krylov. Consider this one — crudely translated, without much rime, by yours truly on the spur of the moment:
An Elephant and a Small Dog
An elephant was lead through sleepy town
To advertise a coming circus.
Since elephants are not a common sight,
It has attracted crowds of idle gawkers.
When suddenly, awed silence is no more:
On seeing elephant, a tiny dog
Charges at it, with bark both fierce and shrill,
As if intent to kill
Neighborhood dogs watch this in disbelief:
“Why do you bother barking? This is nuts!”
“Your voice by now is hoarse, you bark in vain —
“The elephant glides forth
“Without noticing; you cannot cause it pain!”
“Well, guys”
Small dog replies —
“This is the whole point:
“A reputation will I get without a fight
“Of being brave;
“That’s what I crave!
“All dogs will say:
“Though small, he must be strong
“To bark when such a monster comes along!”
More seriously, it is worth noting that Mamadani’s shrill barking will help Netanyahu as Israel heads into October elections, Netanyahu fighting for his political life. Just as Mamdani shows off his bravery, Netanyahu got an excellent opportunity to show to Israelis his own, by coming to New York despite Mamadani’s threats. There is no risk in doing this — the diplomatic protocol (not to mention heavily-armed security detail, both federal, and Israeli) — is on Netanyahu’s side, and he will show to Israelis, right before the elections, that he is not afraid to stand up for Israel despite threats from crazed lefties like Mamdani.
In fact, it is Mamdani who puts himself at risk — by law, New York governors have the authority to remove New York mayors, and Governor Hochul may do exactly that if Mamdani tries anything that stupid, an elephant Netanyahu simply stepping on the barking dog Mamdani.
Having reflected on politics, I am somehow still in a poetic mood. So here is a poem of my own — not Krylov’s — which I’d like to dedicate to Mayor Mamdani:
Though a mayor of New York,
He’s a jerk.
Not as long or allegorical as Krilov’s, my poem summarizes Mamdani’s threats pretty well too, I think
2 Responses
Will Zohran soon become an all-zohran?
I’m writing this just to regain my peace of mind: on re-reading the translation I suddenly experienced a sharp pang of what John Milton described in his Areopagitica as “the greatest melancholy and vexation that can befall [“a diligent writer”]” — discovering that a much better word could have been used at the end of line 5 — the word “dog” should have been replaced by “cur” — both for the sake of the meaning, and phonetic rhyme (as Mark Twain observed, the difference between a right word and an almost-right word is that between a lightning and a lightning bug). Also, for the same purpose of improving rhyme, two lines should have been consolidated into one. So I thought I’d put down the improved version below — and regain my mental balance:
An Elephant and a Small Dog
An elephant was lead through sleepy town
To advertise a coming circus.
Since elephants are not a common sight,
It has attracted crowds of idle gawkers.
When suddenly, awed silence is no more:
On seeing elephant, a tiny cur
Charges at it, with bark both fierce and shrill,
As if intent to kill
Neighborhood dogs watch this in disbelief:
“Why do you bother barking? This is nuts!”
“Your voice by now is hoarse, you bark in vain —
“The elephant glides forth
“Without noticing; you cannot cause it pain!”
“This is the whole point:, guys”
“The cur replies —
“A reputation will I get without a fight
“Of being brave;
“That’s what I crave!
“All dogs will say:
“Though small, he must be strong
“To bark when such a monster comes along!”
As to the actual news — as of now, Mamdani keeps barking though Trump advised him to take it easy. We’ll see what happens in September!